July 18, 2009

It’s 3.30am. I was awake despite my 3 hours of sleep. I tried to put myself back to sleep but a lot of thoughts just came into my mind. After 2 hours, I was still awake and couldn’t sleep. And during these hours of sleeplessness, I sensed His voice speaking to me.

I admit I am a very emotional person. I used to get upset when things don’t happen the way I’ve planned it, I cried and put myself into self-pity in certain situations, I get anxious when I don’t see result, I had irrational thoughts and made my own conclusion to problems and ended up getting mad. I believe everyone is tempted to be angry occasionally. It may be one day, one week, one month or even more. But, the Bible  instructs us not to stay angry. It tells us: “When angry, do not sin; do not let your wrath last until the sun goes down” (Ephesians 4:26). We can be angry, but we must not stay angry. We can be disappointed, but we cannot let it rob us of joy. Someone might hurt your feelings, but we are not to hate that person, instead to love and forgive him/her for Luke 6:35 states that; “But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.

Note that it says “without expecting to get anything back.” Well, that’s the difficult part for most of us because most of them time, when we do something good, we expect something good in return or something even more. Having said that, I feel foolish at times for not obeying His commands although He has prompted me to do so. Many times, God allows “my-unwanted-incident” to happen, to teach me and to create opportunities for me to learn, but I took it for granted. I tried to solve things by my own strength and ended up feeling stressed out; mentally, physically and spiritually.

In reality, we cannot runaway from our problems, but we can look at them as opportunities to become better people. Face it, admit it and deal with it. If you’re angry, admit it. If you have a bad attitude, admit it. If you are jealous, admit it. Facing truth about yourself may be difficult but the truth is, go ahead and ask God to help you in this area of your life. Make a commitment to start being honest and owning your feelings. Facing ourselves and taking responsibility for our attitudes and actions is one of the most difficult things we can ever do, but it is also one of the most important.


4 Responses to “Awaken”

  1. How truly wise. Looking at ourselves is the only way we can grow; otherwise we’re stuck wherever we are. Nice thoughts, nice writing. Keep up the good work.

    • hooisanlai Says:

      Thanks notesalongthepath! You’re right, we have to look within ourselves to experience breakthroughs, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit 🙂

  2. Hooi Lee Says:

    Why were you angry?

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